Captain Jack and the Little Wolf
by Roach Patrol
Summary: Once upon a time, that old trickster Captain Jack  I'm sure you've heard of him  before  was going to pay his last respects to his Grandfather in his little house the woods, for he lay there dying.


Oh, so you want a story, then? Let's see...

Alright, here's one for you, and don't go complaining you've head it already. Maybe you've heard other versions of this one and maybe you haven't, but _this _one's true. Or at least, true enough.

Once upon a time, that old trickster Captain Jack (I'm sure you've heard of _him_ before) was going to pay his last respects to his Grandfather in his little house the woods, for he lay there dying. Don't ask what woods, child, you know this one: any woods. They were dark and deep and the paths were thin and winding, and Captain Jack, who was more used to the dark deepness of the spaces between the stars, was quickly lost.

Just after he realized this, who should he meet trotting down the path than a pretty little wolf?

"Hello there, ma'am," said Captain Jack, who was always polite to ladies, even wolves, "I'm going to see my Grandfather before he dies, and I'm afraid I've lost my way. Might you be able to tell me where his house would be found?"

"Oh, that old place?" the wolf asked. "I'll take you there myself, if you let me eat your Grandfather. I've had terrible luck tonight, and I'm awfully hungry."

"How about this," bargained clever Jack, "we'll race there, and if you beat me, you can eat my Grandfather and me as well."

"And if you beat me?" the wolf asked.

"Why, then you'll have to do whatever I tell you to," Jack said, for having command of even a little wolf is no trifling matter.

The wolf was indeed a little wolf, but she was long of leg and fleet of foot, and was not displeased with this bargain.

"Very well," she said, "I accept," though to herself she thought that she would eat up his Grandfather whoever won, and our Jack was wise enough to see it in her eyes. But she told him how to get to the house in the middle of the woods: they shook on the deal, and took off running.

Well, the wolf was indeed very fast, but our clever old Jack was just a bit faster, and he reached the house just a few minutes before the wolf did. There, to his dismay, he was greeted by the sight of his Grandfather lying on the bed stone dead and dressed in finest suit for dying in. Thinking fast, Captain Jack took the man's fine clothes off and wrapped him in the bedsheets, then hid him under the bed.

Then Jack lay down on the bed himself, in his Grandfather's fine dying suit, still as a corpse. When the wolf came in through the door, she saw him there and said, "My my, what have we here?"

And Captain Jack said, "Why don't you come up and see?"

"Don't mind if I do," the wolf said, and hopped up on the bed. "My my, Grandfather, what fine clothes you have on!"

"Why don't you come and take them off?" Captain Jack said.

"Don't mind if I do," the wolf said, and tore the fine clothes into ribbons and then further into a handful of dust, for such is the end of all things. "My my, Grandfather," she said afterward, "what cold skin you have!"

"Why don't you warm me up?" Captain Jack asked.

"Don't mind if I do," the wolf said, and lay down beside him, and pressed her red, wet mouth to his throat. "My my, Grandfather, how sweet you taste," she said.

"Oh, you have no idea," Captain Jack said, and rolled the wolf beneath him. "Why don't you let me show you?"

"Don't mind if I do," said the wolf.

Well, they made love any which way you'd care to imagine (and I'd reckon a good few other ways besides). And afterward, the wolf lay there with her tongue hanging out, too tired and satisfied to even think of eating our fine hero, and she realized that he'd stolen away her heart as well as her dinner.

"I have eaten up many men," the wolf said, "but I've never loved any of them until you."

"I have loved many ladies," Captain Jack said, "but I've never had sex with a wolf. I've got to admit that was a new one."

Then Captain Jack took his poor dead Grandfather out from under the bed, naked and already ghost-pale, and carried him out into the night to bury him properly and say the sorts of words one should say for their poor dead Grandfathers, so as his spirit would feel rightly at peace and refrain from wandering in the cold and the darkness of the woods forevermore. Wherever he did chose to go, I couldn't tell you, and anyone as says they could is a liar and a fool besides.

As for the wolf, well, maybe Captain Jack came back after his task was done and let her wash the grave dirt off his hands, then married her and settled down in his Grandfather's old house. Or maybe he left her before the last drops fell from his fingers, with nothing but a fond farewell and a belly full of babies.

Or maybe she went along with him, for a time, and their pups grew up among the deep black byways of the sky.

Now go to bed.


End file.
